# Jim Cyr


## Posts

- [Another Lesson from Francis of Assisi to Help Us Dance in Our Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/another-lesson-from-francis-of-assisi-to-help-us-dance-in-our-twilight/): Caring for the Leper Within Jungian psychologists invite us to pay attention to our “shadow.” Our shadow that unconscious and repressed parts of our self, things we would rather not face, both negative AND positive. In this post I’d like to tell you another legend from the life of Francis of Assisi that invites us to care for the “leper” within; that part of us that we find untouchable, repulsive, shameful. The legend goes like this: Francis and the Leper He came down the dark hallway of the hospital for lepers shouting and cursing. The anger on his face and […]
- [What Francis of Assisi Can Teach Us About Dancing in Our Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/what-francis-of-assisi-can-teach-us-about-dancing-in-our-twilight/): Feed Your Wolf When most people think of St. Francis of Assisi they think of the many birdbaths that depict him. There are many legends about St. Francis. One of them, about his adventure with a wolf, can teach us about how to respond to people we may have a history of conflict with. In our twilight, old conflicts or ongoing conflicts can leave us with anger and regret that fill our final years with pain. I’d like to tell you a story of St. Francis that suggests how we can find peace with those who have frightened us, hurt […]
- [Capturing My Legacy](https://jimcyr.com/capturing-my-legacy/): In my last post I offered a list of questions to help you think about your legacy. In this post I’d like to provide you with some tools for capturing your legacy. Personal Journals or Photo albums Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash+ If you’ve kept a personal journal over the years you have a gold mine for thoughts about your legacy. Review your journal for highlights of your life that speak of what has given your life meaning. If you have kept a photo album of significant events in your life you have a treasure trove of significant moments […]
- [What Will My Legacy Be?](https://jimcyr.com/what-will-my-legacy-be/): Our twilight years can be a time of reflection on the meaning and impact of our lives, a time of thinking about our legacy. What is a legacy? Legacy is our lasting impact or influence on our family and friends and ultimately on the world. Legacy is about the richness of your life, including: your cherished memories, career and other accomplishments, values, spirituality. Legacy is about your uniqueness, what makes you, you, and how your uniqueness left a mark on the world. Here are some questions to get you thinking about your legacy:
- [Wisdom for the New Year](https://jimcyr.com/wisdom-for-the-new-year/): In the 1920s the Library of Congress held about 3 million items. In the 2020s the Library of Congress holds over 170 million items. Photo by Zdeněk Macháček on Unsplash In the 1920s the average person had access to local library and perhaps a few dozen books at home. In the 2020s the average smartphone user has instant access to the equivalent of millions of books worth of information. Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash The internet and artificial intelligence have led to an explosion of knowledge. But with so much information available to so many people so easily, why […]
- [New Year Resolution for Your Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/new-year-resolution-for-your-twilight/): In my work as a hospice chaplain, I often listened to the regrets people had as their life was coming to an end. Based on the regrets I heard most often; I would like to propose three New Year’s resolutions for you to consider.. “I will take good care of myself.” At life’s end, people often regret not having taken better care of themselves, especially when their neglect decreased the quality or length of their life. Eat well! Sleep well! Stay physically active! “I will be more loving to the people that matter most.” At life’s end, people often regret […]
- [A Blessing for Your Holidays](https://jimcyr.com/a-blessing-for-your-holidays/): May the light of your soul mind you. May all your worry and anxiousness about your age Be transfigured. May you be given wisdom for the eyes of your soul To see this as a time of gracious harvesting. May you have the passion to heal what has hurt you, And allow it to come closer and become one with you. May you have great dignity, Sense how free you are; Above all, may you be given the wonderful gift Of meeting the eternal light that is within you. May you be blessed; And may you find a wonderful love […]
- [Surviving the Holidays in Your Twilight: Joy](https://jimcyr.com/surviving-the-holidays-in-your-twilight-joy/): f you are facing loneliness, family conflict, or illness during your holiday twilight years, where can you find joy? Here are some simple suggestions to brighten the Thanksgiving—Christmas—New Years stretch of time. Children Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash The joy of little children during the holidays is contagious. Spend some time with little ones. If you have no little ones available to be with perhaps a neighbor or friend might make you part of their holiday celebration if you asked. Perhaps you could Face Time or Zoom to see the joy of Christmas or Hanukah on their faces. […]
- [Surviving the Holidays in Your Twilight: Family](https://jimcyr.com/surviving-the-holidays-in-your-twilight-family/): The bossy mother-in law. The alcoholic father. The self-centered uncle. The verbally abusive child. The aloof sister. The know-it-all brother. The holiday table is often seated with difficult family members transforming “tidings of comfort and joy” into whispers of “when will they leave?” So, when the holidays in your twilight years become “Twilight Zone, how can you survive the time between Thanksgiving turkey and Times Square ball drop? Set Realistic Expectations It’s easy to imagine a picture-perfect holiday, but family gatherings rarely go exactly as planned. Accepting this reality can alleviate disappointment. Recognize that conflict or tension might arise and […]
- [Surviving the Holidays in Your Twilight: Alone](https://jimcyr.com/surviving-the-holidays-in-your-twilight-alone/): In our twilight years the holidays can be a blessing for some and a curse for others. If you are included in a loving family or a circle of friends, the holidays can be a blessing, a time for expressing love, making and sharing memories. If you are alone, or ill, the holidays can seem like a curse as scenes of holiday love and happiness fill your TV screen. Here are two suggestions to help you survive the holidays if you are alone. VOLUNTEER Photo by Esra Afşar for Unsplash If you are physically able, volunteer your time during the […]
- [Grieving the Death of a Child in Your Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/grieving-the-death-of-a-child-in-your-twilight/): As a hospice chaplain, I sat with older adults who experienced the death of their adult child. Older adults who lose a child to death often say, “”It should have been me!” When someone loses a child at any age, there are no words to ease a parent’s pain. So I offer no words, only you three resources of people who understand a parent’s pain when they lose a child. If you have lost a child to death, please check out these resources. If you know someone who has experienced the death of a child, please share these resources with […]
- [Faith in Your Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/faith-in-your-twilight/): In my years in ministry, I have observed that people’s faith in whoever or whatever they call “God,” may be hardened, deepened, or abandoned in their twilight years. Hardened Faith Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash When people are convinced that they have a lock on the truth about God their faith often hardens into a rigid set of beliefs and behaviors. “My beliefs about God, my way of worshipping God, my standards for living are the only way.  Everyone else’s faith, worship and behavior are at best, suspect, and at worse, damnable. When people have been catechized on fear, “If you don’t […]
- [Transformation in Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/transformation-in-twilight/): For many of us in our twilight years, suffering becomes an unwanted companion. Declining health, illness, loss, loneliness, or regret, cause us pain and evoke suffering. Photo by Issy Bailey on Unsplash Philosopher and poet, John O’Donohue’s, in his book, Eternal Echoes, describes how suffering can cause all we have known and depended upon to collapse: “People who are sent onto the dark ground of suffering know how all the normal certainties collapse. Painstakingly, you have to begin again to reconstruct some minimal shelter for your burdened heart and your cleft soul. Pain breaks your innocence. It shatters your trust […]
- [Lovingkindness in Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/lovingkindness-in-twilight/): Twilight years are not easy. Physical decline, sickness, grief and loss, ongoing family problems, loneliness, or financial worries can turn our twilight years into a midnight of pain and sorrow. So how does an older adult cope with the challenges inherent in aging? Loving-kindness is a powerful coping strategy for those of us in later life. What is Lovingkindness? Lovingkindness refers to an unconditional, inclusive form of love and goodwill toward all beings, including oneself. Lovingkindness is characterized by: In practice, lovingkindness looks like: Lovingkindness Toward Ourselves photo by Fellipe Ditadi on Unsplash+ A lifetime of living sometimes leaves us […]
- [Wisdom in Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/wisdom-in-twilight/): I believe that life is meant to teach us wisdom. Wisdom comes through the distillation of of our experiences. The older we are, the more of life we have experienced, ergo, the more wisdom we should have (Some of us are better at sussing out wisdom than others.) But what is the most important piece of wisdom life has to offer? In his book of stories called The Orthodox Heretic, Peter Rollins, tells a story in which God sends out messengers into the whole world to gather the world’s wisdom into a great library. But the library holds too many […]
- [Some Questions for Your Twilight, part 4](https://jimcyr.com/some-questions-for-your-twilight-part-4/): Photo by James Lee on Unsplash 
- [Some Questions For Your Twilight, part 3](https://jimcyr.com/some-questions-for-your-twilight-part-3/): My two previous posts offered questions for you to consider about meaning and perspective in your twilight years. Today, here are some questions about how you feel about your twilight years. Jim Cyr is a trained spiritual companion who helps older adults reflect on the meaning of their lives and how God has
- [Some Questions For Your Twilight Years, part 2](https://jimcyr.com/some-questions-for-your-twilight-years-part-2/): In my last post I offered some questions about the meaning of your life as you reflect in your twilight years. This post offers some questions about your perspective on aging. Here are some questions of perspective for your to reflect upon: “What we believe about age throughout our lives consciously and unconsciously shapes how we age.” Connie Zweig, The Inner Work of Age. Shifting from Role to Soul. Jim Cyr is a trained spiritual companion who helps older adults reflect on the meaning of their lives and how God has been present or absent as they face the challenges […]
- [Some Questions for Your Twilight Years. part 1](https://jimcyr.com/some-questions-for-your-twilight-years-part-1/): Our twilight years are a time for reflection. Reflection on the meaning of our lives. Reflection on what it means to age and pass away. Reflection on what life has taught us. Good questions help our reflection. Over the next several posts I am simply going to offer some good questions for reflecting on your twilight years. I invite your reflection on these questions and welcome any comments you’d like to make. Here are some questions of meaning for you to reflect upon: “Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain […]
- [Dance With Your Death, part 2](https://jimcyr.com/dance-with-your-death-part-2/): When we come into this world, our hands are clenched. We are grabbing onto life. When we leave this world, our hands are open. We are letting go of life. Unsplash + Death is the great letting go. I.am_nah on Unsplash“>Photo by I.am_nah on Unsplash When we die we let go of our physical bodies. We let go of the people we love and the ones we don’t love. We let go of all the things we’ve done in our lives: our successes and failures, our roles and jobs, our hobbies and pleasures. So, how do we prepare for this […]
- [Dance With Your Death, part 1](https://jimcyr.com/dance-with-your-death-part-1/): Anthony DeMello, in his book, The Heart of the Enlightened, tells the story of A merchant in Baghdad sent his servant on an errand to the bazaar and the man came back white with fear and trembling. “Master,” he said, “while I was in the marketplace, I walked into a stranger. When I looked him in the face, I found that it was Death. He made a threatening gesture at me and walked away. Now I am afraid. Please give me a horse so that I can ride at once to Samarra and put as great a distance as possible between […]
- [Dance With Your Soul](https://jimcyr.com/dance-with-your-soul/): Our soul is the deepest part of us where one encounters God and discovers their “true self.” We are not bodies with a soul. We are souls with a body. The soul is not in our body. Our body is in our soul. When all our possessions, accomplishments, and the constructs of our personality are gone, we are left with our soul. When we enter our twilight years we may find that we are clumsy dance partners for our soul because we don’t really know our soul and have not nourished it. So how do we “dance with our soul” […]
- [Dance With Your Family at End-of-Life](https://jimcyr.com/dance-with-your-family-at-end-of-life/): Funerals bring out the best and worst in families. I know this from my work as a pastor and hospice chaplain. When someone dies family members either support each other or conflict with each other in their grief. Grief can draw a family close together in their bonds of love. But grief can also fester old wounds and fracture a family in their anger at the deceased or other members of the family. So how do you dance with grace with your family at the end of your life? Unsplash+ in collaboration with Tim Mossholder Talk About Your Wishes Before […]
- [Dance With Your Caregiving](https://jimcyr.com/dance-with-your-caregiving/): Are you a caregiver to a spouse or family member? You are not alone! More and more people in the United States are caring for family members. According to data from the AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving “Caregiving in the U.S. 2020” report, as well as other recent studies: • Approximately 53 million adults in the US are unpaid caregivers (2020 data) • This represents about 21% of American adults • 61% of caregivers are women • Average age of caregivers is 49.4 years • 39% of caregivers are 18-44 years old • On average, caregivers spend 23.7 hours […]
- [Dancing With What Was, What Is, and What Will Be](https://jimcyr.com/dancing-with-what-was-what-is-and-what-will-be/): As we age, in our quiet moments, it’s easy to look back on “what was” with regret, to be dissatisfied or frustrated with “what is,” and to be anxious about “what will be.” How do we dance joyfully with our past, our present, and our future? Dancing With What Was “If you become addicted to looking back, half your life will be spent in distraction and the other half in regret.” Rumi As you think about your past is “if only” a recurring a thought? Regret keeps you living in the past. It’s time to let your “if onlys” go. […]
- [Getting Old Isn't for Sissies](https://jimcyr.com/getting-old-isnt-for-sissies/): Unsplash + in collaboration with Getty Images As she was passing through her eighties and nineties to the ripe old age of ninety-nine, my mother-in-law used to say, “Growing old isn’t for sissies.” As we age, our bodies undergo numerous changes that can significantly impact our day-to-day functioning. If you are in your 60’s, 70’s, or 80’s, you know what I’m talking about: • We lose muscle mass and strength. (That darn pickle jar is hard to open!) • We lose bone density. (I didn’t know so many parts could get broken!) • Joints may start hurting. (“Shoulders, knees and […]
- [Welcome to Dance in Your Twilight](https://jimcyr.com/welcome-to-dance-in-your-twilight/): Hello, my name is Jim Cyr and I would like to help you to DANCE IN YOUR TWILIGHT. I want this to be a dancefloor of welcome and wisdom for senior citizens. The twilight years from our retirement to our passing, or the years as we continue to work into our seventies or eighties, are a time of challenge, but also a time of tremendous creativity and growth if we listen to the wisdom our life experience sings to us. Our life experience is the song we can dance to in our twilight years if we listen carefully. American culture […]
- [A New Title. A Sharper Focus](https://jimcyr.com/a-new-title-a-sharper-focus/): This is a heads up! Beginning on August 11, I will be offering a new Substack. The title of this new Sustack will be “Dance in the Twilight.” My writing will be focused on living your best life in your twilight years. I have begun writing on this theme in this Substack (Jim’s Substack) and will continue exploring the topic of life in the twilight of life under “Dance in the Twilight.” Life as we age will be a sharper focus in my writing. My current subscribers will be automatically moved to the new Substack. I hope you will stick […]
- [Twilight Years: Embracing Life Review, Life Repair and Gratitude](https://jimcyr.com/twilight-years-embracing-life-review-life-repair-and-gratitude/): As we enter the later years of life, we’re presented with a unique opportunity for reflection, healing, and appreciation. Three interconnected practices – life review, life repair, and gratitude – can significantly enhance our well-being and bring a sense of fulfillment and peace in our golden years. Let’s explore why these practices are so crucial and how they can positively impact our lives. Photo by Scott Graham on Unsplash Life Review: Looking Back with Purpose Life review is a natural process that often occurs as we age. It involves reflecting on our past experiences, decisions, and relationships. This practice can […]
- [Three Practices to Illuminate Your Twilight Years](https://jimcyr.com/three-practices-to-illuminate-your-twilight-years/): zenad nabil on Unsplash“>Photo by zenad nabil on Unsplash Twilight Years: Embracing Life Review, Repair, and Gratitude As we enter the later years of life, we’re presented with a unique opportunity for reflection, healing, and appreciation. Three interconnected practices – life review, life repair, and gratitude – can significantly enhance our well-being and bring a sense of fulfillment and peace in our golden years. Let’s explore why these practices are so crucial and how they can positively impact our lives. Scott Graham on Unsplash“>Photo by Scott Graham on Unsplash Life Review: Looking Back with Purpose Life review is a natural […]
- [Me and My Shadow](https://jimcyr.com/me-and-my-shadow/): As we reach our later years and look back at our lives, we may wonder why we did or said certain hurtful things. Regret is a common feeling in older adults as we look back at the lives we lived. We may also wonder, where those hurtful words or actions came from since we are basically decent people. Carl Jung, the renowned Swiss Psychologist, once quipped, “The gold is in the dark,” meaning that if we wish to know why we do or say certain things over the course of our lives, we need to become acquainted with our “shadow.” […]
- [What Has Your Life Meant?](https://jimcyr.com/what-has-your-life-meant/): Photo on Unsplash The Hindu tradition offers a helpful way to look at the journey of life. In the Hindu tradition life has four stages: The Student – life is focused on education and discipline The Householder – life revolves around marriage, family, and work The Grandparent – life is about letting go of past roles, shifting from material values t o spiritual values, letting go of old ways of thinking and feeling that no longer fit who you are. The Ashrama (Sanskrit for a place of spiritual exertion or effort toward liberation) – life is about letting go of […]
- [Finding Meaning in Our Later Years](https://jimcyr.com/finding-meaning-in-our-later-years/): As we age and retire, several questions help us to find meaning in our later years” • Will I fight the aging process or submit to it gracefully? Will I deny my age or accept my years as they add up, and even live in awe that I was given life in the first place and have survived as long as I have? Will I strive to be young and ageless by pushing to do more and maintain my relevance and success or will I slow down, accept the role of Elder and share my wisdom with those coming after […]
- [The Secret to Happy Aging](https://jimcyr.com/the-secret-to-happy-aging/): The secret to happy aging is gratitude. Gratitude for still being alive. Gratitude for what life has taught you through its good and bad experiences. Gratitude for those who have loved you. Gratitude for those who have mentored you. Grateful people are happy people, even in later years when decline sets in and death awaits us. “We think people are grateful because they are happy. But is this true? Look closely, and you will find that people are happy because they are grateful.” Music of Silence, David Stendal-Rast The practice of gratitude is a path of transformation. “Be grateful for […]
- [The Who-Am-I? Crisis](https://jimcyr.com/the-who-am-i-crisis/): Unsplash Who am I without my partner who has died? Who am I without the job I held for so long? Who am I without my good looks? Who am I as my health declines? Who am I, now that I can no longer drive? Who am I, now that I am unable to contribute meaningfully to society? Who am I now that I have to depend on others for care? A who-am-I? crisis can trigger bouts of depression, grief, disorientation. So how can one handle a late life who-am-I? crisis? By recognizing the who-am-I? crisis is a spiritual crisis. […]
- [Welcoming the Three Messengers of Aging](https://jimcyr.com/welcoming-the-three-messengers-of-aging/): In our last post we acknowledged that the three messengers of aging: old age, sickness, and death visit each of us with an invitation to gain wisdom from their arrival. But gaining wisdom from messengers our culture teaches us to fear is difficult unless we acknowledge that fear and seek to loosen its grip on our minds and hearts. In his book, The Blooming of a Lotus, Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, offers the following practice on the three messengers of aging to help us move past our denial and confront our fear. Thich Nhat Hahn says that as we […]
- [The Three Messengers of Aging](https://jimcyr.com/the-three-messengers-of-aging/): As we enter our “later years,” there are three messengers that come knocking at our door. Looking through our door’s peephole we see old age, illness, and death standing on our porch. When these messengers arrive, and they will arrive at every home, we have a choice to make. Do we open the door, welcome them, and receive the wisdom they bring, or will we bar the door, curse them, and hide? Except for the occasional wise Elder, no one teaches us how to welcome and heed these three messengers. The world’s spiritual traditions teach that the best way to […]
- [Prayer for Weary Caregivers](https://jimcyr.com/prayer-for-weary-caregivers/): Caregiving, whether for a child, an elderly parent, a special needs child, or for a spouse, is exhausting. My deceased wife and I cared for her mother until her mother died at the ripe old age of ninety-nine. I am sure that the last five years of caregiving for her mother sped up my wife’s passing. During the pressure and endless demands of caregiving, how does one find time to pray? Finding time to pray can be an elusive luxury for caregivers. Here is a suggestion: breath prayer. What is breath prayer? Breath prayer is a short prayer of praise […]
- [The Silent Epidemic Impacting Our Elders](https://jimcyr.com/the-silent-epidemic-impacting-our-elders/): Loneliness: The Silent Epidemic Impacting Our Elders As we age, many of us will face a harsh reality – loneliness. While often thought of as just a fleeting feeling, chronic loneliness among senior citizens is a growing public health concern. It’s a silent epidemic that can have devastating impacts on physical and mental wellbeing. The Statistics Are Staggering According to recent studies, one in four adults over 65 are socially isolated or lonelier. The numbers are even higher for those over 80. Loneliness affects seniors across all racial, economic, and social backgrounds. It’s a near-universal issue with major consequences. The […]

## Pages

- [About](https://jimcyr.com/about/):  Spiritual Companion Jim has been on a spiritual journey since age five. His journey has included ministry as a Director of Christian Education, pastor, crisis intervention specialist , jail, prison and hospice chaplain. An ordained American Baptist Minister, Jim is also a 2019 sendee of the Center of Action and Contemplation’s Living School and a graduate of the Christos Center for Spiritual Formation spiritual direction training program.  He has worked with people from all walks of life and every spiritual tradition.  Storyteller  Jim has been a storyteller since 1991, telling stories in churches, libraries, jails, First Night celebrations, social clubs, and […]
- [Blog](https://jimcyr.com/blog/)
- [Contact](https://jimcyr.com/contact/): Contact Me Contact me to learn more about spiritual companionship or storytelling Stay in touch jimcyr7@gmail.com 908-294-1822
- [Storyteller](https://jimcyr.com/storyteller/): Storyteller Stories of healing, wisdom, and faith I preform oral stories to entertain, heal what’s broken, impart wisdom, and connect to the Divine. I tell folk tales, fairy tales, biblical and sacred stories from many traditions for adult audiences. What Is a Storytelling Performance Like? I consult with you regarding your audience’s needs and tailor the performance’s content and length accordingly. I can tell stories around a theme, topic, or season. Performances typically last between 30 and 60 minutes depending on your program needs. What are the Benefits of Storytelling? Be entertained. Escape from the stress of life. Broaden your understanding […]
- [Home](https://jimcyr.com/): What is Spiritual Companionship? Spiritual companionship is an interpersonal relationship in which we learn how to grow, live, and love in the spiritual life. A spiritual companion is trained to listen to you and to God as you talk about your life. A spiritual companion listens nonjudgmentally as you seek to make meaning of your life and to discover how God is present in your challenges, joys, and sorrows. Possible topics for spiritual companionship sessions: The meaning of your life Your experience of God’s presence God’s seeming absence Beliefs that are no longer life-giving Darkness and descent as teachers Finding […]
- [Privacy Policy](https://jimcyr.com/privacy-policy/): Who we are Our website address is: https://jimcyr.com. Comments When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection. An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: https://automattic.com/privacy/. After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment. Media If you upload images to […]


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